Getting caught up in life, and simply going through the motions of if all can often leave us feeling a bit unfulfilled, overwhelmed or maybe just pain blah. Sometimes self reflection and evaluation of how we are thinking about things, taking them on, and allowing people to come into our lives is all it takes to get back us on track to enjoying the life we deserve.
How's life treating YOU? Not your neighbor, not your spouse, and not your friend but, how is life treating you?! Are you happy and at peace with where your health is or the direction it is going? Are your financial needs met? What about your love life, are you emotionally fulfilled? Or are there some areas of your life that are; simply put, out of control? Well before you read any further please know that I am not selling or endorsing a single thing so please rest your skepticism, offenses and inhibitions at this very line. I am not a minister, a counselor, a “life coach”...at least not yet. I am simply a woman who has a heart for empowering and uplifting other people merely by sharing some of my testimonies of what has or has not worked for me.
I figured I’d start this first piece out with change, since we are literally embarking on a new season! We are in the thick of Autumn (I love Autumn BTW) and the leaves are changing, the holiday season is rolling in and the atmosphere on our jobs, in our homes, our neighborhoods…all around us is changing right before our eyes! Just take a moment to think about everything that’s changed around you over the past few weeks…
There are some people who are resistant to change, some who welcome change and others who are not quite sure how they feel about change. First off, I failed to mention above that I’m definitely not a psychologist either however, I am pretty sure that a lot of individuals have a tough time with change for one of three reasons. 1.) Doing things the same way is easier than learning a new routine, 2.) Fear of who or what we may lose in the process of changing or 3.) addiction to old/bad habits. Regardless of why change is or is not acceptable to some people, one thing is for certain; change is a necessary requirement of growth in any living thing. Be it a plant, an animal, business or of course a human being, growth REQUIRES change therefore if you would like to grow, you MUST change!
A little more than two years ago, if someone would ask me how I was doing or how life was? I would say that I was “happy” and that my life was “just fine”. I mean it was, from the surface. I was happily married with a beautiful family, living a comfortable life however, after taking further inventory of MYSELF, and considering my ways I realized that there were some aspects of my life, and some bad habits that I wanted and needed to change in order to be happy inside out. While there were SEVERAL adjustments that were made, today I’ll focus on how changing my mindset was the MOST IMPORTANT step to changing my perspective on life and my life’s circumstances.
A mental shift is paramount when it comes to accepting and coping with change. As you change you will have to deal with how others will either accept, or not accept the changes that you are making in YOUR LIFE. DISCLAIMER: This is where “Pruning” comes in(pronounced proon- to cut away). Pruning hurts but it is necessary when it comes to growth. In life we outgrow jobs, friends, relationships, cloths (lol) but the problem is, a lot of us do not know how or when to let go (but that’s another story for another time). Back to pruning…a lot of people who have been around for your past, will not be able to handle the change in you and are not fit for your future therefore, it is up to you to delicately prune the branch from the tree, and GROW. Now I am not suggesting that you go on a bridge burning spree but, I am saying if a person’s spirit does not agree with yours and the vision you see for you life it is best that you distance yourself accordingly. It does not mean that you do not love them but we’ve all heard the saying “some people you just have to love from a distance”.
Also, when focusing on creating a permanent mental shift, you will have to use positive self talk to keep from talking yourself out of making the changes you want to see. Feed yourself with only good things. Speak your goals into existence, and talk about you vision for your life to someone you TRUST on a DAILY basis. Other ways to pour positive vibes into yourself would be to seek out positive things that will fulfill your spirit to silence the negative noises and distractions going on around you that are beyond your control. I for example read positive inspirational books however, for those who aren’t so spiritual I’d suggest you read a book of choice that is geared towards your lifestyle and/ career goals. Other healthy positive food for the soul is lyric-less music; I prefer jazz or meditation (zen) music, and of course gospel. This calms the spirit and also gives you time to break away from the “routine thought process” of the day, and allow you to go into free thought and meditation. Remember what you allow yourself to hear; music you listen to, thoughts, conversations etc. become the soundtrack to your life. When you are on a journey to making positive change you do not want to allow any negativity in because it can and will negatively distract you from your goal. When it comes to conversations with friends…this will be a “tuffy” but once your mindset starts to shift you’ll be able to tell by the length of the conversation and your comfort level upon hanging up the phone how to handle those. Friendships are unique and delicate and those who have not been pruned will certainly be on board with the positive change in you. Chances are, the growth that your friends and loved ones see in you may overflow into their lives and influence them to make some changes of their own.
With the information I provided above, I challenge you to choose one area in your life to GROW in, if you’re brave choose two. Remove every negative person, place and thing possible in that area. Add positive daily actions, affirmations and conversations regarding this change and watch yourself be fulfilled in that area. I’m excited to hear about how things have changed for the better and how you’ve grown in those areas.
Until Next Time